Nervous Breakdown
by Disenchanted Cynic
Summary: -‘I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just had to go and start hyperventilating...' .:SasuSaku:. EPILOGUE IS UP!
1. The Swim Party

**Nervous Breakdown**

She'd been against it from the beginning, so why did she feel so disappointed?

**summary**: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just _had_ to go and start hyperventilating...'

**timeline**: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

* * *

It's twelve o' clock at night, my hair is wet and funny feeling from chlorinated water, and I'm just stumbling into my apartment. I drop my bag where I'm standing just inside the doorway, kick off my shoes, and throw my keys unceremoniously onto the kitchen table, where they clank with a rough noise. Yay, another dent in the wood.

I slump over the kitchen counter and reach into the freezer for the new carton of ice cream I bought at the store this Friday, and grab a fork out of the utensil drawer at my elbow. Chocolate, the best flavor. I don't give a flying fladoodle if my hair is pink, I will _never_ understand strawberry. Pink hair doesn't automatically connect me to this strawberry, pink stuff, feminine sugar crap. Chocolate, however, is the ultimate comfort food, necessary for survival to a dramatic, screwed up person like myself who is all but convinced that the world is seriously over when something as minimal as _midterms_ come around.

Right, I haven't introduced myself yet. See? I'm obviously stupid. Haruno Sakura here, college student, medical intern, economics major, and loser at life. Yeah, I have short, pink hair, green eyes, and a huge forehead. I'm a crazy, dramatic, nerdy neat freak who sucks at life. It's a wonder I have the half a dozen friends that I do. I am currently floundering around in an economics class that I love, am part of a marching band, and infatuated with an unobtainable guy. Unobtainable, you may ask? Well, he's not gay, taken, fictional, or married, but as I've mentioned before, I am a failure at life, so me and guys have never worked out because I'm such a freak who has no idea what to do. I am a legal adult and I have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone of the significant other sex. Pathetic, aren't I?

So, now that I've given you all this cheery picture of who I am, to the present once more. I took my ice cream and fork out of the kitchen and stumbled through my apartment, up to my room. I didn't even bother to turn on lights as I went, tripping over random crap that I had lying around and almost falling down the stairs. I finally felt my way into my bedroom, slapped my hand against the desk lamp and got it to turn on, and threw myself onto my bed, getting chocolate on it most likely. Damn, I'm out of washing machine tokens for this month too.

I curl up on my bed and start ripping my ice cream up with my fork, relishing in how the little metal spikes scarred the once smooth surface of the once untouched, rich brown dessert. I laughed a little to myself at the thought of impaling ice cream and started stabbing it some more. If you were wondering about how I'm a weirdo, I think it's a little clearer now, huh?

Wow, am I depressed tonight.

On an impulse, because I am depressed and must hear my best friend's voice and inform her of why I am depressed, I reached into the front pocket of my blue jeans and fished out my cell phone. I jabbed her speed dial number and pressed the phone to my ear.

_-ring-_

_-ring-_

_-ring-_

"Dammit, pick up the freaking phone, Ino."

_-ring-_

_-click-_

"Whaddya want?"

"Inoooooo"

"Sakura, what the hell are you calling for at freaking twelve am?!"

"Uuuuuh..."

"Don't tell me you're depressed again."

"_Uuuuuuuuuh_..."

"-sigh- What happened with Sasuke?"

"-scoff- I said nothing about Sasuke."

"But I'm right."

"..."

"Just tell Ino what's wrong, honey."

"... okay, it's Sasuke."

"..."

"Shut up!"

"Alright, Sak, what happened?"

"Well, you know how the school marching band is always holding those awesome swim parties for us all late at night?"

"Yeah."

"And how I always go to them cuz they're like, duh, awesome?"

"Yeeeah."

"And how Sasuke's also a member of the band?"

"Yeeeeeah."

"The totally _gorgeous_ and sexy sax player."

"Only in your eyes. Just get to the point, Sak."

"..."

"Oh, I get it! You were both at the swim party, weren't you?!"

"-flatly- Yes."

"So? What's the big deal? You were both at the last one. He even swam up to you and said hi. That last time you called me and gushed for four hours about how insanely hott your pretty boy is, and how cute he looked with his goggles on when he was talking to you, and how you stared at his six pa-

"OKAY, I GET THE FREAKING POINT!!"

"So, I'm guessing you had a nose bleed and someone freaked at the red in the water or something?"

"-scoff- No."

"A shark sensed the blood and went after the trumpet section?"

"Ino? We were in a swimming pool."

"Oh."

"..."

"So tell me already!"

"Fine, I shall now concede to tell the sad tale of how I destroyed the pathetic and meager remains of my sad life."

"-sigh- Dramatic as ever."

"-moan- Okay, we covered how I was at the band pool party that Sasuke was also at, because the universe hates me like that."

"Sasuke the sax player. Pool party. Evil universe. Got it."

"Well, you know that perverted game that girls get guys to play with them in the pool so they can flirt, where a girl will lie in the pool, and someone picks her up bridal style, because you can pick people up in the water like really easily thanks to the oxygen content of our bodies-

"Get on with it. I don't want a physics lesson."

"Well anyway, you know, you just pass the girl around, or occasionally even a guy if he's short. It's really just a game for sluts to pick up playboys. You know, the game you invented?"

"... I may know the one."

"Suuuuuuure. Anyway, you know those blonde twins with the glasses, Suki and Yuki, that I befriended in high school? Well, they're kind of like play girls now. So they basically played this game all night. And, see, well, unfortunately, Sasuke might be kind of play boyish. I mean, every time the sluts come up with something attention grabbing like that, he'll play along, so for like half an hour I had to watch him pick up Yuki-slut, who's his brother's ex girlfriend, by the way, and hand her around, and well, also with any other girl playing, while they just sort of splashed and flirted in the water with their stupid bikinis. God, love sucks."

"I'm going to take a guess and say you wore that very un-sexy, black one piece?"

"... that's beside the point."

"-smirk- I know you so well, forehead."

"Yeah, yeah, pig. Now back to my depression?"

"Well, okay. Um, did the sluts approach him, or did he go to them?"

"I don't know. I was fashionably late."

"You, fashionably late? Since when?"

"Since always, cuz I'm cool like that."

"-clears throat-"

"... okay, my car broke down on the way."

"Thought so, Sak. Well, see here, if the girls approached him, he probably just played along so he wasn't mean or rude or whatever, or maybe some of them were like his dude friends' girlfriends and he didn't want to offend them, because guys have like this extensive, stupid 'guy code' on how to treat other guys' girls. If **he** approached **them** though, he's a perv."

"That first one sounds more likely. He looked kind of reluctant to me, and he really isn't perverted, he's nice to girls."

"Then it's the first one. Congrats, Sak. You've found a prudish, kill-joy, geeky guy like you to go marry."

"Ha. Well, still, it kind of hurt to watch. I mean, I've been in love with him since last year, and all this stuff has happened, and we've had some conversations and all, but then these girls just come and get all over him. It really hurts, Ino."

"Aww, I know, honey. Want me to come into your world economics class this Tuesday and show that boy how much that hurt you? -knuckle crack-"

"... no. That's... fine."

"Kill-joy."

"Well, I know you couldn't be at the party, since you got kicked out of band since sixth grade-

"You hit _one_ kid's head in with a flute and suddenly the world hates you."

"There was a _lawsuit_."

"... nothing they could prove."

"Yeeeeeeaaaaah... well, like I was saying, you weren't there, but at least Hinata and Tenten were. They kind of saw what was happening and dunked my head under the water so I couldn't see."

"Aww, we're all such true friends, ain't we, Sak?"

"Yeah, I mean, obviously I still saw what was going on, but the sentiment that they didn't want me getting hurt still meant a lot."

"Totally. But sorry, I'm still at loss for why your life is over. Nothing has happened yet."

"Shh, I'm getting to that part!"

"Well!"

"Okay, well that night, Tenten was kind of off, because you know her crush, Hyuga Neji? Well, the sluts had him in on their game, only he was actually kind of into it."

"Awww, so sad! Poor Tennie! But if she would just _tell _Hyuga how she feels, then things like that wouldn't happen!"

"Ino-

"I mean, come on! Apparently he's hott, of course other girls are going to be moving in on him!"

"Ino-

"She needs to TELL HIM! This is just freaking stupid! I mean-

"-darkly- Ino."

"Huh?"

"You're kind of describing a certain someone who isn't Tenten, and are reminding her of how badly she sucks at life."

"Huh?... OH! Sorry."

"Yeah, well, she was kind of bent out of shape and just wasn't herself thanks to the sluts, kind of like those bitter women who go on a girls' night together at a bar and get drunk, then say all this stuff about their husbands that they don't really mean, and wind up going home with some guy, and... yeah. Well, our Tennie just wasn't right. And, well, to compensate, she sort of... drunkenly threw herself into my Sasuke conundrum."

"Oh, my God."

"Yeah."

"What did she do?!"

"It was bad."

"I'm sure! You know how she gets sometimes! So what the hell happened?!"

"Well, we're talking to Suki and Yuki, while the game is still being played, and all of a sudden, she just PICKS ME UP AND TELLS SASUKE TO CARRY ME."

"Oh... my... freaking... gosh..."

"Yeah! And have I ever mentioned how I am, oh, the SHYEST PERSON IN ALL OF EXISTENCE?!"

"Second to Hinata."

"... don't ruin my rant."

"... sorry."

"So here I am, being enthusiastically held out by Tenten, who's still telling Sasuke to take me, and I start barking at them to put me down, and my voice is like an octave higher with panic. Then Tenten just starts like shoving me at Sasuke, so I start floundering around and kicking her, so she'll drop me, and Sasuke's just kind of ashen looking, Hinata told me. But thankfully, I kicked Tenten hard enough to get away."

"... wow."

"Yeah."

"I mean wow."

"Oh, do you think that's it?"

"Oh, my God, there's more?"

"Waaaaay more."

"Please continue, hon."

"Okay, after that, me and Hinata manage to swim away, because she's still sympathetic to me. Well, like fifteen minutes later, we swim back to the slut circle to talk to Tennie, because since that last episode with my close call, she stayed over there trying to flirt and get her man back. So there we are, I'm trying to maneuvre myself so that Sasuke can't see me, when HINATA **AND **TENTEN decide to turn on me. Hinata kicks my legs out from under me, gets me bridal style, giggling madly, and Tenten hollers at Suki and Yuki to give me to Sasuke. So they all overpower me, Hinata hands me over to Yuki while I start babbling at them to put me down. So Sasuke holding Neji and cracking up at a very unhappy looking Hyuga's face, and Yuki's holding me and Suki's helping, and they're like "Sasuke, we'll trade you! Come hold Sakura! Come on!"

"No... way..."

"Yes! And holy crapola, Sasuke drops Neji and the twins hand -cough- _shove _me at him. So I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, **_really_** hott. Did I mention _**BEING HELD BRIDAL STYLE BY WET, SHIRTLESS SASUKE**_?! I can feel his abs, and his arms. Around me. He's actually _touching_ me, like outside of my head!!"

"OH MY GOD!! SAKURA!! THAT IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!"

"Hah! Hardly!"

"What the hell?! Why?! This is grea- oh! -sigh- what'd you do?"

"-moaning- I'm so stupid..."

"-moaning- Sakura, what happened next?"

"I freaked out."

"You freaked out?"

"Hey, it was a lot to handle all of a sudden."

"-smirk- So Sexy Sasuke's lean, muscular abs were around you, and his dreamy black hair was dripping wet and his hands-

"S-shut up, Ino!"

" -and you freaked."

"-sigh- Yes."

"What happened, really?"

"Well, I went like crimson red, and I sort of ducked my head under my arms, I mean I was seriously embarrassed. My legs were bare too, and, you know, bridal style."

"Ah, Sakura, there are _faaaaaaar _worse things that can happen to you than the hunkalicious man of your dreams touching your _leg_, and not even in a perverted way."

"-moaning- Says you. My legs are flabby and fat."

"Shut the hell up, Sakura. Just shut the hell up. You're the most toned person I know. Your legs are gorgeous. You're freaking skinnier than me."

"-moaning- Not for long. I'm going through my entire new half gallon of chocolate Ben and Jerry's right now. So 'ha'."

"No. No fattening comfort food for you. Put it away, Sakura."

"-groan-"

"Put. It. A. Way."

"No. I'm a woman in crisis."

"What crisis?! I would absolutely **kill **for that to happen with me and Shikamaru! Kill! I may just really kill you for bringing me down and it happening to you and not me."

"Nu uh. There's more."

"Right! I'm far from the whole story! Press on!"

"-gloomily- If you insist. Well, there I am, clutching my head in embarrassment, and Sasuke just sort of pats me on the head and whispers 'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"

"-squeal-"

"Ahem."

"Sorry."

"So, I'm still freaking, and start muttering to him to please just drop me, and I swear I'll go drown myself."

"-frustrated- Aw, Sakuraaaaaaaaa..."

"So he was just like 'Okay' and he let me down and I kind of floundered around, like ultra embarrassed, until I had the common sense to swim away. I feel like a total loser."

"YOU ARE, YOU REJECT!! STUPID!! Sakuraaaaaa!! Now he probably thinks you don't like him!!"

"Well, do you think I was going to let him hold me with his awesome abs all night, Ino?!"

"... yeah, good point. You're such a kill-joy, you'd never stand for that."

"I was seriously on the brink of FAINTING, Ino!!"

"Wow, you really DO like him!"

"Well, I have no chance now! He just _has_ to think I'm totally weird and some geeky, nerdy, stalker-freak LOSER who has her friends do everything for her!"

"No he won't. You didn't do anything freaky-

"I had a nervous breakdown after he put me down."

"... excuse me?"

"Nervous breakdown. I started hyperventilating, and I almost fainted. Wonderful Hinata, who was back on my side, had to drag me to the side on the pool before I fainted and drowned."

"..."

"Oh, it gets better! Tenten comes over and asks what's wrong, Hinata informs her of my hyperventilation, and do you know what she does? She finds Sasuke, tells him something's wrong with me, and brings him back over to me and Hinata!!"

"OMFG."

"So he's just 'Are you alright, Sakura? They said something was wrong with you' and I just manage to say I'm fine between hyperventilating breaths, and he just sort of shrugs, says 'Well, if Sakura says she's okay, I trust her' and he leaves. _Now_ I'm done."

"... well, uh, I'll bet he didn't even notice you were hyperventilating!"

"... thanks. -cries- I'm such a freak! Just kill me!"

"Aw, Sak! Please don't do that. You're a person just like everyone else. He doesn't care that your friends are screwing with your life!"

"Really?"

"Totally, and if he doesn't, I'm going into your world ec class on Tuesday."

"-sigh- Thanks, Ino. You're the best best friend I could ever ask for."

"Tell me something I don't know, hon. Now put down Ben and Jerry before Sasuke gets jealous."

"As if."

"Whatever. Now don't worry and let the chips just fall where they may. And let Auntie Ino get her beauty sleep. You too - it's almost 1 am. Take a shower to get rid of the chlorine."

"Ye, ma'am."

"Later, honey."

"I love you, Ino."

"Love you too, Sak. Can't wait to hear when you two are an item. Late!"

_-click-_

I pressed the 'end' button with my fingernail and watched the screen of my phone go back to my wall paper: a photo of me and all my friends with me holding my clarinet, in front of the band hall. Hinata's boyfriend, Naruto, had taken it for me, just before Tsunade, our band director came and kicked Ino out for not being a band member. I smile I stare at the picture. I kicked the carton of Ben and Jerry away, because it really does make me feel bloated.

Ino's right - I should cut the drama. As if Sasuke will even remember what happened. Still, I can't get the sense that I had been incredibly stupid tonight out of my head. I'm about to start moaning and slide back into my depression and chocolate ice cream again, when my cell phone buzzed right in my hand. I'm about to press the ignore button, sure it's just Ino calling back to make sure I listened to her, when I notice that the caller id is showing an unfamiliar caller. Usually I'll just ignore it and won't answer these, but I'm screwed up tonight, so I go ahead and flip open my phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"Um, hi, it's Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke?"

"-clatter of a dropped cell phone-"

"Hello? Sakura?"

"U-uh! S-sorry! H-h-hi!"

"I... just got your number from that band directory thing we got in the mail."

"Oh. Did you... need something?"

"I was just calling to make sure you were okay. You had me kind of worried tonight, I mean, you didn't look alright. Are you? Okay, I mean? I didn't wake you up, did I?!"

"... no, y-yeah. Sorry. It was nothing."

"... okay then, see you Tuesday, Sakura."

_-click-_

And then I remembered that one detail of my night that I'd failed to see as important.

_"Well, there I am, clutching my head in embarrassment, and Sasuke just sort of pats me on the head and whispers 'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"_

I remember that Sasuke was a lot smarter than any other guy I'd ever met. He gets my 'absolutely must butt in and make my life hell' friends.

_'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"_

Finally, I just want to get to bed already, and I finally feel a little optimistic.

Only I stil have to put that damned ice cream downstairs.

"_Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_..."

* * *

**I hope you guys liked this! It was inspired by my own crazy friends and screwed up love life. Also, this is dedicated to Amanda, for her birthday. Thanks for helping me out with my own hyperventilation issues, hon, and happy, happy b-day.**

**Yes, I'm still avidly working out my many chaptered stories, but I really needed some one shot breaks, before my brain imploded from too many world economics reports. **

**Anyway, I appreciate it, guys. Drop a review and let me know your thoughts if you like. Thanks! Much love.**


	2. The Bra Incident

**Nervous Breakdown**

**summary**: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just _had_ to go and start hyperventilating...'

**timeline**: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

**note**: This was originally going to be a one-shot, but things kept happening, I had more ideas, and several people voiced that they would like me to continue this, so I will!

* * *

Part II - The Bra Incident

"Hey, Sak! Get the hell out of the bathroom!" an all too familiar, annoyingly piercing voice shrieked through the door, as my best friend began pounding her fists to go with her screams. I rolled my green eyes at myself in the mirror. It's my freaking apartment - she can wait. And I don't give a damn if she _is_ my best friend, she breaks my door, she's paying to replace it.

"That's freaking it, Forehead," Ino's shrill voice screamed through the door like a banshee. Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't been kicked out of my apartment yet for disruption of the peace. At least she stopped banging.

"I respected your privacy before, but we're both girls; I'm coming in!" she yelled, and the door knob clicked. Crap. Why didn't I lock that?! I grabbed my shirt off the counter top and tried to jam it over my head before she can get the door open and see me.

-BANG!-

"... _Sakura?_" Crap! Too late, too late!

My best friend stood in the doorway in a purple t-shirt and my pair of old, green sweats that bring out my eyes enough to make some people forget my extreme hideousness, although Ino swears they actually make my butt look nice. In case you haven't noticed yet, Ino's kind of full of it. Her long, stringy blonde hair is currently looking really shaggy and all over her face, and I almost could have laughed. She obviously hasn't brushed it yet which is why she's in here bugging me. The eyeliner around her blue eyes is smeared, and makes her look more shocked than she already looks.

"Oh, my God, Sakura, is that my bra?"

I quickly jammed my shirt all the way over my head.

"Nooooooo..."

"Yes it is, Sakura, you liar. The white one with the dark green spots and straps."

"Nuh uh."

"Prove it then! Take off your shirt!" she shrieked, pointing a blue nail polish tipped finger at me.

I smirked, "Wow, Ino, if I'd known you swung that way I wouldn't have let you sleep over. Man, all those guys over the years meant nothing, I guess-

"Oh, shut up," Ino snapped, glaring at me laughing, "I've been looking for that one for like _weeks_, Sakura. I thought it was some pervert stealing stuff from my dorm or something," she huffed in a whiny voice, putting her hands on her hips.

I shot her a distainful look, opening my mouth to talk, but she ignored me, continuing with her rant, "I mean come on, Sak, I needed that bra because I just _had _to wear than cute, white dress on that date with that hott guy from my accounting class. I had to wear the orange dress instead! Not cool, Sakura, not cool. And, I mean, we're not even the same size, so why-

"Well excuse me for needing a... er... UNDERCLOTHES!" I spluttered, my face starting to go red as I began shouting. Yeesh, excuse me!

"But why mine? You have... _underclothes_," Ino mimicked, her hands on her hips, impatient. I grit my teeth and pulled a wisp of thick, pink hair from my face.

"I... mine... don't fit anymore," I mumbled quietly, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the floor like it was _its_ fault I was having this irritating conversation. Sorry floor - it's not _your_ fault my best friend is so damn irritating.

It takes Ino a minute to process things, but after about five seconds of total silence, she flung herself at me, crushing me with one of those arm-y, spine snapping hugs of hers. Can't. Breathe!

"Oh, my gosh, Sakura! You finally got b-"

"Don't say it!" I hissed, clamping a hand over her mouth, already wishing I hadn't said anything and just given her stupid clothes back.

Totally unperturbed, because at this point Ino bounces back from anything and forgets all reason, my best friend jumped back, staring at me with this goofy grin on her face. I glared and the grin just widened.

"Ohhhhemmmmgeeeeee," Ino giggled, starting to hop up and down, "This is so cute! I knew this would happen sooner or later! Oh, Sak!"

"-grrrrrr-" Yeesh, you'd never believe she's actually in college, the way she's carrying on. So immature...

Ino stopped bouncing and turned serious for a minute, "But wait, I still don't get why you took my stuff. Just go buy a new one."

"... well... you always wear my stuff... like those sweats!... I'm just... uh... returning the favor." Lies. I flinched at how fake my voice sounded. Why couldn't my talents have been in acting?

"... you're afraid to go bra shopping aren't you?" Ino suddenly accused, her blue eyes lighting up with the sureness (and accuracy) of her accusation. Damn her for knowing me so well! Damn my horrible lying skills!

I cringed, "W-what do you expect, Ino?!" I stuttered, aghast.

"Oh my gosh."

I can see the gears turning in that pretty, blonde head. "Ino-"

"It's settled!" she suddenly grinned, clapping her hands together, "Get dressed! I'm taking you bra shopping!" she shrieked, running back out of the bathroom and off to raid my closet most likely, leaving me standing in the bathroom, half dressed with my pajama bottoms still on and my collared shirt, in absolute shock.

"... holy crap."

* * *

About an hour later, Ino was dragging me into the nearest department store. How she managed to overpower me and drag me through the entrance while wearing stilettos is a mystery to _me_.

I crossed me arms self-consciously across my white collared shirt clad chest as Ino tugged me by the elbow towards the lingerie section. I shuddered as soon as the delicates came into view. Is it me, or does 'lingerie' sound like a dirty word? Ino rolled her eyes at my drama and pressed on, still dragging me by the arm as I tried digging the heels of my canvas sneakers into the ground. Damn commercial tile - no friction at all. Curse you, Kohl's!

"Okay, sweetie," Ino chirped, dropping my arm once we were sufficiently surrounded by delicates, "Find one you like and lets get started!"

"-moan-"

"The longer you take, the longer we're here," she grinned, using that super sweet voice that was about five times more scary than any threatening tone.

Snarling under my breath at her irritatingness, I plucked off a rack the first plain, white one my eyes landed on, and tossed it at Ino's smug face.

"There. Now we can leave," I muttered, turning to leave, only to feel a clawed, bracelet sporting hand grab my own.

"Nope. Wrong size," she smirked, obviously enjoying herself as my face went red with my temper, _again_. Ino tossed me the... _thing_, and I snatched it out of the air, checking the tag.

"D-36. Uh, what the hell does that mean?"

"It's a size, Sakura."

"No it isn't."

"What do you mean 'no it isn't'?"

"Sizes are like S,M,L... stuff like that. There's no 'D'."

"..."

"You know that, Ino! I mean, we're both 'M' for medium, that's why you're always jacking my awesome clothes."

"I have so much to teach you."

"Ino? What does that mean? Ino?! Why are you walking away?! Hey, get back here! Don't leave me alone with the lingerie! Ino?!"

* * *

Well, I ended up locked in the dressing room by Ino and a strangely enthusiastic clerk, and Ino just threw sizes over the door for me to try. It was kind of weird, but hey, it worked. Now I can leave and spend the rest of my stupid weekend at home reading or something, or maybe I'll change my locks so Ino's key doesn't work anymore. Yeah, I like that second option. Well, at least I figured out what the letters and numbers meant.

So now we're (finally) leaving, and I'm walking towards the front of the store with Ino, looking for an open register to pay at. The store was totally packed, seeing as it's Friday afternoon and this store has some sort of 5pm special or whatever, Ino was squealing about it the other week and I really just tuned her out and tried to finish that economics essay. We were lucky enough to find a register with about three people less than the other ones though (wow, three whole people) so at the moment we're just standing in line, and Ino's going on and on about the latest gossip from who knows where while I'm just nodding my head, sort of halfway paying attention.

"Man, I wish this line would just thin out already," I muttered as Ino stopped speaking for a minute to breathe.

"I know! I'm going to be late meeting Shika at this rate," Ino pouted, whipping her head around to glare at the twelve or so people still ahead of us in line. Then she started going off on this monologue about Nara Shikamaru, this total hottie in her accounting class or something. Actually, I was worried about not being able to hit Barnes and Nobel before they closed for the night. Pft, who needs bars when you can have book stores? Yeah! I've really been wanting to pick up a new copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ - my old, very, very worn with use copy died on me last week and I have been absolutely frantic without Mr. Darcy and darling Elizabeth to keep me company. Wow... did I just think that? Well, whatever, it's a good book, and maybe if I still have time, I could look for _Letters From Hiro_-

"Sakura! Earth to Sakura!" Ino's shrill voice snapped me out of my Jane Austen daydream. She rolled her eyes at me, "Pay attention, Sakura! I need your opinion on what I should-

"Sakura? Is that you?" another voice, another masculine, baritone voice that was _definitely _not Yamanaka Ino's shrill banshee voice said, interrupting whatever my best friend had been about to say.

Oh, my God. I know that voice. How could I _not_ freaking know that voice? How could I not have noticed that we have been standing right behind him in the damn line all along?! I was right - the universe officially hates me.

"O-oh... h-h-hey, S-sasuke." Oh. My. God.

Well, my observational skills are probably around negative four on a scale of one through ten if it took me twenty minutes to notice that the man I love has been standing right in front of me in a Kohl's check out-line this entire time. I know, pathetic. I do notice enough, however, to sense the most absolute dangerous thing ever, worse than Godzilla, three tsunamis, and a bag of highly poisonous and irritable snakes - Ino. Looking at Sasuke. With _the Look_. Specifically, the _time to screw up Sakura's life_ look. And that's not it. I'm standing in a very long check-out line with my 'I have to butt in' best friend, the guy I love, and all I've got in my hands is a big, pink bra.

Somebody, please, please kill me.

"Hi! I'm Yamanaka Ino! I'm Sakura's best friend! You know her?" Ino chirped pleasantly, in her innocent nothing but sugar voice, twisting around me to shake Sasuke's hand, absolutely beaming. She's so enjoying herself.

Sasuke shook her hand back, a slightly weirded out, slightly amused look in his dark eyes, "Uchiha Sasuke. We're in band together at the University." His eyes flashed to me, and he smiled a little. I felt the color creep up my neck, flushing my face.

"Really?" Ino gushed, as if she had absolutely no idea. She's such an actor.

"Really," I said stiffly, shooting her the evil eye and elbowing her back behind me before she gets a chance to put whatever I know she's plotting into motion.

"Well, don't let me interrupt you two!" Ino said sweetly, stepping farther back and sweeping to us with her hands, "I wouldn't want to intrude! I'm sure to guys would like to _talk to each other, right, Sakura?"_ she said through her teeth. Translation: Flirt, be normal, and do not screw this up or I will hurt you.

I **will** kill her for this.

"So, um what are you doing here?" Sasuke asked awkwardly, his onyx eyes meeting my emerald green ones. He stuffed one hand in his blue jean pockets, the other one holding a picture frame, some candles, and other stuff I couldn't see. Not like I was staring or anything - I was too busy admiring how hott he looked in that jacket. I heard Ino snort behind me, and then I realised exactly what he'd just asked me. Oh, crap.

"Um... e-I... uh... uh... nothing!" I stuttered, desperately trying to shove the bra in my hands to Ino behind my back.

"What, Sakura?" she whined, "You hold it - it's yours!" she grinned cheerfully, patting me on the back as my knees almost buckled at her answer. Damn her!

"Uh... um, uh... no it's not! It's a friend's! Remember, we're buying it for, um, Temari?" I tried lying, pleading desperately to Ino with my eyes to just spare me.

"Well, then how come you tried them all on and we had to find your size?" Ino asked innocently, blinking her long, mascara covered eyelashes at me.

My face went totally white, or maybe green, all I know is I felt like fainting again.

"Well, I'm here buying my mother some presents for her birthday this weekend," Sasuke spoke up behind me, catching me eye and then smiling reassuringly and... understandingly. Have I mentioned how much I totally _love_ him? He held out his arm, giving me a better view of the candles and gift wrap he was holding under his arm.

"Wow, that's really nice," I smiled, a little surprised, and luckily, Ino and my bra forgotten. Wow, he's such a great guy, out buying his mom gifts, "Your mom's lucky to have you for a son."

"Thanks," he smiled again, only I could tell his face looked a little flushed.

"I was just getting a little shopping done before I have to hunker down for the weekend with that darned research paper Kakashi gave us in economics," I said, smiling a little sheepishly. Just don't freak out so easily like that, Sakura. Like he cares. Maybe he didn't even notice.

"Oh, man, I almost forgot that stupid paper," he groaned, "And I've got to finish reading Shakespeare for English lit. Well, at least I like Shakespeare."

"Shakespeare?"

He nodded, looking a little embarrassed, like he'd said too much. Aw, he looks just too cute like that.

"I love Shakespeare too. He's great!" I said enthusiastically. Book nerd, remember? " 'But soft! What light through yonder breaks? It is the east - and Juliet is the sun!' I love that."

He nodded, smiling again, "I like the line where Romeo wishes he was a glove on Juliet's hand, so that he might touch her cheek." I grinned, nodding feverishly.

"Next!"

I hadn't even noticed that the line was moving. Sasuke paid for his stuff, and stood of to the side and waited for me to buy my bra. There. I said it. Thought it. Narrated it- oh, you people know what I mean! I was just thrilled he purposefully waited for me, like he wanted to talk to me. This was turning out to be perfect.

"Hey, Sak!" Ino called from behind me, as Sasuke and I were walking back out of the store, "There was this top I saw back there that I wanna buy after all. I'll be there in a sec! Just wait in the car for me please!" I nodded, smiling to myself. "Thanks!" she smiled brightly, then jogged off to the back of the store. Oh Ino, you really do love me.

Sasuke and I turned around again and walked out of the store, continuing our conversation about Shakespeare, school, band, anything. I was surprised how much we had in common, and how easy I could be to talk to him when I wasn't freaking out about doing the right thing or acting like an idiot. I could just be myself, and I liked it. It had gotten dark outside by now, and we crossed through the large parking lot, the street lights casting a slight orange glow. He walked me to my car. How sweet is that?

We stood outside my car and talked for awhile as I waited for Ino. After at least half an hour (a _long time to buy a top_, don't you think?) I looked up and saw Ino starting to (slowly) walk towards us across the parking lot.

"There's Ino. Guess it's time for me to go," I smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I should get home too. Hide this stuff before my mom sneaks a peek," he said, running a hand through his black hair, which looked slightly bluish in the moonlight. Is it me or did he sound kind of sad?

"I'll see you Monday," I smiled shyly, and awkwardly sort of put my hand on his shoulder for a minute. The tops of his ears turned red, and he slowly smiled back at me. Aw, how absolutely perfect is he? "Tell your mom to have a happy birthday for me, will you?"

He grinned, a little laugh escaping as he stepped away, towards wherever his car must be parked, "I will. Good night, Sakura."

Silently, I unlocked my car and climbed into the driver's seat, my face in full on blush mode. Ino yanked open the door and plopped down in the passenger seat beside me.

"Ino?"

"Yeah, hon?"

"You are completely and eternally the most wonderful best friend ever. I totally love you."

"And you think my plans never work!"

* * *

**There's the second part! Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I love you guys and I hope you enjoyed!**

**Don't hesitate to send feedback if you desire to do so. Translation: review if you like.**

**I definitely am getting excited about this one. I would have never pictured it as being more than a simple one-shot, so thank you eternally!**

**And happy birthday, Kakashi-sensei!**


	3. The Art Of The Hangover

**Nervous Breakdown**

**summary**: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just _had_ to go and start hyperventilating...'

**timeline**: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

**note**: Here's Part Three, the last part, but there will also be an epilogue.

* * *

Part III - Futsukayoi no Jutsu: The Art Of The Hangover

I woke up Saturday morning, feeling absolutely horrid, and absolutely _great_.

The sucktastic part was just how I felt physically - an insane, psycho hangover was making my head feel like someone had split it open with a meat cleaver. My neck felt like seriously screwed up for sleeping on the couch all night and I'd lost all feeling in my right leg, since _Ino_ fell asleep on it and is now snoring her freaking lungs out.

So, last night, after we got home from Kohl's, I actually felt spontaneous, and got in that stupid, glittery red cocktail dress that Ino forces me to keep in the back of my closet for rare instances like this when I actually agree to go out with her. So I went with her to some club where she was meeting Shikamaru or whatever and we got drunk and wound up walking back to my apartment holding our high heels in our hands and tipsily singing crappy Disney Channel songs while we swaggered barefoot through peoples' grass and jumped fences in our skimpy dresses. Then when we finally made it to my apartment at 3 am, and my landlady, Uruchi, is so kick-ass awesome that that she saw we were drunk and opened my loft with the extra key she has at the front desk, because we were obviously too wasted to find my key. I love you, Uruchi! So yeah, then me and Ino just sort of passed out on the couch.

... Yeah.

So I got drunk! Sue me! This happens to Ino every weekend, which is how Uruchi knows Ino by name and made her that extra key, since every weekend she comes stumbling into my apartment and always winds up spending the weekend there - we're practically roommates. Well, seriously, what aren't me and Ino? Sisters, bffs, classmates, roommates, drinking mates (I'm usually there to be the **sober **ride home, except, well, last night) mother/daughter, we do it all. And once, in our junior year in high school, our pre-cal teacher, Ms. Yuhi, accidentally overheard us pretending to fool around with each other outside of her classroom, and for the whole second semester she thought we were actually lesbian and kept looking at us funny in class.

So waking up and feeling the hangover, the blisters on my feet from my stupid heels, the scrapes on my knees from jumping fences, and Ino's snoring rupturing my eardrums, understandably the first thing I do is crawl off the couch to my bathroom and swallow like half a bottle of aspirin. _Owwwwww... _I took a shower while I was at it, since my knees are stained green and full of little bits of grass from falling in peoples' yards. And there's the fact that Ino fell asleep on me and now I have little bits of blue glitter from her dress stuck all over my skin. Holy crapola, how drunk did I get last night?!

I got out of the shower and wrapped myself up in my favorite green plaid pajamas. I walked into the kitchen, trying to brush the wreck that was my wet hair, and found Ino as I wrestled with the comb, sitting at my countertop on a bar stool with her coffee, looking all... balanced. Glare. I do this like, maybe once a month, usually a few months, while Ino has tons of practice. She has mastered the art of the hangover.

"Morning, princess," she beamed brightly at me, patting the stool beside her. I practically fell out of the chair when I tried to sit on it. Don't smirk, you bitch!

"Wow, if I had known that getting you and Sasuke to have a 'moment' would get you to go out and drink with me, I would've started plotting months ago!" she grinned widely at me, "Well, now that I know about these loverly results, _now _we can get him to double date with you, me, and Shika! And then you two could get drunk and go back to his place and-

"Ino! God, you're such a whore!"

"Takes one to know one, Sak. Don't think I don't hear you in your sleep. Ahem. 'Sasuke... mm... ooh, oh, Sasuke! Eek!'" she imitated in this voice that is way too high to supposed to be me.

Ah, and that brings us to the reason I felt good while also feeling so bad. Sasuke, the peanut butter to my chocolate, because everybody knows ever since Reese's were invented, jelly has so been gone from the equation. I am like uber-impressed with myself for actually managing to talk to him like a normal person without sounding like seriously stupid. Even Ino's proud of me. So, yeah, well, last night since I was feeling so prideful and confident, and I owed it all to the devious, blonde brain that is Yamanaka Ino, I decided to do something for her - i.e. go get wasted with her.

Well, it makes sense to us.

"Damn, you look like crap, Forehead," Ino informed me bluntly. I scowled. "Here, coffee plus hangover equals cured," she told me, pushing the pot towards me and grinning smugly. So that's how she gets through the morning after. Huh, never would have guessed - I'm more of a tea person. Well, it does look a lot healthier than practically ODing on ibuprofen like I usually do.

"No way. Coffee is so gross! I'd definitely rather suffer."

"Yeah, right, Sakura. You're such a pansy when it comes to pain."

"It doesn't hurt that bad! And stop shouting!"

"-sigh- If you just drink the stupid coffee, I'll work my magic on your hair, which is looking quite craptastic this morning, might I add," Ino negotiated. Damn her, and her ozone destroying hair products.

Grumbling, I reached for the coffee and poured an entire cup of sugar in it, because this really is too good of a deal to pass up, and Ino scooted her bar stool closer to mine and whipped out a brush and her curling iron.

"Oh, my God, did you actually get the comb stuck in your hair? OMG, I can't get it out!"

* * *

Awhile later, I walked to my front door in my socks, looking for my keys. "Later, Ino!" I shouted, "My head still hurts, so I'm going for a walk. I've got my cell phone on me, 'kay?"

Okay, she never does call, but still. What if the apartment burned down in a freak forest fire or got struck by lightning or something? It could happen! Don't you people watch the Discovery Channel? One word: Pompeii!

"Where are you going?" Ino asked, appearing out of my bedroom where a Lifetime movie was blaring, wrapped in my comforter. She watched as I dug around under a table for my dark blue Converses.

"I don't really know. I'll figure it out when I get there." As long as it's somewhere where there's fresh air.

"Body inspection," Ino trilled, throwing the blanket in the bedroom and waiting for me to comply. So close. I should have just left. I sighed, not wanting to argue when nice, headache-healing fresh air was just downstairs. I stood up and stuck out my arms, spinning around slowly for her.

"Good," she said approvingly, not even bothering to bite my head off for pairing my blue jeans with the soft, long-sleeved purple shirt that I "borrowed" from her a week ago. See? I can be fashionable - I just choose not to. But how could anything **not** look nice with how she did my hair, down and curled a little. Yeah, we got the comb out, but we wound up breaking it in half before it would come. Poor comb.

"Put some eyeliner on and you'll be perfect."

"Inoooooo, I'm going to a park. I don't need make-up for that."

"But, honey, some of the hottest guys can be found at parks. So eyeliner. Black. Now."

"Hmph."

"There. Now you look totally hott." She sounds proud of herself.

"Gee, thanks. I just _live _for your approval, you know, Ino." Sar. Casm.

"I know you do."

"Oh, go watch Lifetime."

* * *

There's this really nice park that I like, about a mile from my apartment. It's really huge, and it's around this really irregular shaped lake that is totally cool, with all these ducks that do nothing but harass people for food. There's this nice, winding sidewalk path that goes all the way around the lake, with plenty of trees and pretty grass, not the crappy, under-watered stuff. My favorite spot is on this little sort of peninsula (vocabulary quiz! peninsula: a land-form surrounded by water on three sides) that's sort of on a hill, and on the peninsula there's no path, just grass, trees, and a good view of the lake. There's also a playground and tennis courts and picnic tables there, only those are off to the side, and most people stick over there. That makes the path around the lake a nice, quiet, unpopulated place for me to walk or sit.

Right now I'm sitting on the peninsula, with my sketchbook. I'm just sort of absentmindedly sketching the surface of the water, sucking in the nice, cold, head-clearing air and daydreaming a little about certain raven haired boys who are nice enough to go buy their moms stuff for their birthdays on their own. Yes, yes, I'm crazy and obsessive. As if I don't already know that.

Anyway, I finished drawing the lake, when I saw this couple, a boy and a girl, in high school I guess, sitting together on this bench. I kind of liked their pose, so I slammed my sketchbook closed and stood up, brushing grass and dirt off my butt. I gripped my drawings and started walking back up to the sidewalk path to find a bench where I could draw them without them seeing me but still have a good perspective.

So I'm like almost on the sidewalk when this rude asshole on a bike comes speeding down the path, and totally almost runs over this guy. The guy was about a yard in front of me, walking on the path, before he had to throw himself out of the way, and, coincidentally, right into me. We almost fall over into the grass, but his reflexes get him to grab my shoulders and keep us balanced. And that's when I look up at whoever this guy is that I'm suddenly pressed up against who's holding my shoulders, like an embrace, only I have no idea who the hell it is? Or do I?

Oh, God.

"S-sasuke?!" I gasp out.

At his name, he looks down and his eyes widen as he recognises me, and he lets go of me really fast and takes a step back, which just makes me lose my balance, seeing as we're kind of on a hill and I was kind of leaning backwards, so he jumps forward and manages to grab me again. This time though, he doesn't let go of me until he's dragged me to the path. Oh, God, I can already feel my face going all red.

"Sakura?"

"Hey. Wow, twice in one weekend," I say, and try to smile and control my voice, which won't stop shaking. Damn, I'm weak. This is almost like that time in the pool. At least I'm not hyperventilating. Yet.

"I swear, I'm not stalking you," he said, sounding really serious and staring back into my eyes with this kind of pleading look. Like he thought I was going to freak out and run away and he really didn't want me to. Hey, I've done so many weird things in the past, he may think I'll actually do that.

"It's okay - I really didn't think you were," I said, offering a nice smile, "Life's full of coincidences, is all." He slowly smiles back. Some lady who was jogging with a dog on a leash stopped in front of us on the path, like she was waiting for something, then sighed and went around us through the grass. We both realised at the same time that we were kind of blocking people's way just standing there, so we started walking side by side together, by unspoken agreement.

"So, I'm sorry. About the knocking into you. Are you okay?" he asked me, looking at me sideways.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Just some asshole on a bike's fault." Mr. Asshole, I love you, I love you, I love you for this!

We were quiet for a minute, just slowly walking around the lake. I cleared my throat and turned my head to look at him. He made his eyes unfocus really fast, but I'm pretty sure he had been looking at me. Oh, God. Am I sweating my eyeliner off or something? Okay, it's like September, like that could happen where I live, but still. Why else would he stare at me?

"So, what are you doing around here anyway?" I asked casually, trying not to let the potential fact that Uchiha Sasuke, love of my freaking life (not that he knows that) may or may not have been staring at me, freak me out.

"Oh. Yeah, you know how it's my mom's birthday?" I nodded, remembering our conversation in the Kohl's parking lot last night. Wow that was a weird sentence. Anyway. "Well, my dad took her out and left me and my older brother to make a cake."

"Aa."

"Yeah. Itachi's in culinary school since he already earned his law degree to appease my dad, and I burn toast on a regular basis. He kicked me out of the house." I snickered and he rolled his eyes but I saw the smirk.

"So, how about you?" Sasuke asked me, kicking a rock into the grass and turning to look at me, his dark bangs falling into his smouldering, onyx eyes. He's freaking looking at you, idiot, don't you dare blush! Damn, he's too hott for his own good.

"Just drawing a little. Clearing my head." From a hangover spawned from a night of debauchery with my best friend... not that I'd tell _him_ that...

"Oh. You're an artist?" I nodded, holding out the arm with my sketchbook. "May I see?"

I bit my lip, hesitated for a minute, then decided that if he was the man I love, shouldn't I trust him enough to show him a book of doodles? I held out the book, and immediately glued my eyes to the floor, flushing crimson with embarrassment, already regretting it. It was quiet for awhile as we walked, with only the sound of flipping paper. Then he handed me back my book.

"... Wow, that's _really _impressive work, Sakura. You're like a professional."

"Really?" I inquired, my voice thick with disbelief. He nodded, smiling a little.

"There are a lot of drawings of this place - do you come hear a lot?"

"Yeah," I said, tucking a lock of long, wavy pink hair behind my ear, "I did a bunch of water studies here. The lake was perfect for that."

So we walked around and around the park for several hours, talking.

* * *

"Oh, you should have seen it! Senior year in master class, Gaara didn't have a pencil and Mr. Hatake got all pissed off at him and told him he'd 'better find himself a damn pencil' but he wouldn't let any of the other clarinets lend him one. So he's like wandering the room, looking for a pencil, and Mr. Hatake's like 'hurry up!' and Gaara just like blows up and screams 'DO YOU WANT ME TO CHOP DOWN A TREE AND MAKE ONE?!' ", we were practically doubled over with laughter as I was telling Sasuke about all the stupid stuff me and the clarinet section used to do in our high school band.

"Wow, the saxophones never had any crazy fun like that. Neji was always biting our heads off about something," Sasuke grinned.

"... I could see that happening." I cracked up. Hyuga Neji has a pole stuck up his ass like permanently when it comes to the saxophone. It's a little scary.

So there we are, laughing it up on the sidewalk, and understand that we're on the opposite side of the lake from where this started, and the street goes by only a few feet from the sidewalk on this side. So here we are walking, when this passing car honks at us, well, actually me, because they kind of lowered the windows and all these guys whooped at me and called me 'hott stuff'. Damn perverts. I'm kind of used to it, because it happens at least once any time I'm out walking, so I just ignore it. Sasuke, apparently, is not used to it. He stopped laughing and got all tense, glaring after the retreating car. Well, I kind of dismissed the reaction, but then it happened again. Louder.

"-honk- -honk- Hey, hottie! Dump the stiff and come take a ride with us!"

I flushed a little but otherwise just crossed my arms and ignored them. Sasuke, however, looked like seriously pissed off. Like he wanted to kick him some immature pervert ass, and soon. Well, he didn't (duh, they were like in a car - do you think he's going to go running off into the street, screaming, after some car?) Instead he walked on the other side of me, shielding me from view, and took my hand and started walking really fast over towards the other side of the park. If I didn't know any better, I would think Sasuke has jealousy issues, but that's not possible, because it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything. Maybe he just hates rude people who harass women.

So we've made it back to the other side of the park now, and my face is all red and my heart feels like it's thumping really hyperactively, because he's still holding my hand. More slowly, he leads me over to this bench, one of my favorite benches actually, because it's got this really good view of this grove of trees that I draw quite frequently. Sasuke's finally let go of my hand and we're both just sitting quietly, facing straight ahead of us. And then I hear _That Voice_.

"Can it be? My lovely Sakura?!"

Sasuke snaps his head around to the direction of the user's voice, and I groan and slump down in the bench.

Lee. Damn it.

"Hello, Sakura!" Rock Lee, this guy from my Latin class, who appears to be quite... attached to me, is calling. He comes running over to our bench and bows in front of me, "And might I say you are looking absolutely stunning today! Your loveliness makes the wondrous place around us pale at the very thought of comparison to your radiance! Please, accept these flowers!" he confessed boldly, holding out a couple of daisies.

"Er... uh... thank you, Lee. They're beautiful. That's really sweet," I offer, plucking the flowers out of his hand and resting them in my lap. He beamed at me. Next to me, Sasuke started coughing, only it sounded kind of weird, like he was faking it.

At the sound, Lee turned to look at the man next to me, then flinched.

"Um, I will see you later, Sakura. I see I must be too late, for my actions seem to have angered your boyfriend. I will just see you in our youthful Latin class, but as a friend! Goodbye!" and then he just ran off, as quickly as he'd come. For some reason, than boy seems to run everywhere. He left so fast I couldn't even tell him that Sasuke wasn't my boyfriend, which was very embarrassing.

I turned to Sasuke, my face really red and ready to apologise or deny the boyfriend crack (as much as I wished it were true) or _something_, but now he was glaring after Lee really scarily. Has he always glared this much?

"Sasuke, I-

"He's right, you know," he cut me off suddenly, turning to face me, "They're right. You look really pretty today. Especially today," he said, and he raised up a hand and gently tucked a few strands of hair back behind my ear. I felt my face go beet red as I felt his fingertips brush the side of my face.

"Well, u-uh, thanks," I managed to choke out. If there's anything I've learned, it's that it's a stupid idea to just sit there blushing without saying anything. It makes you look really weird.

He smiled, dropping his hand back into his lap, and meshed his fingers together, "Um, Sakura? Can I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure?"

He suddenly looked kind of shy, fidgeting with his fingers, and the back of his neck looked kind of flushed, which I've taken to mean that he's embarrassed.

"Will you, go... out with me?"

... _what?!_

Oh. My. God. OMG OMG OMG OMG! What? Where the hell did _that_ come from?! Oh, my God!

"- You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean, I was just wondering. Sorry - stupid idea, I'll just go away now and-

"Yes."

"Huh?" he turned back to look at me.

"Yes, I want to go out with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, I do," I grinned. I felt like shouting it to the whole freaking, wonderful world, but I didn't, because that would be stupid. Ino, however, would be the one to go deaf tonight.

"Heh, that's great! That's awesome!" he beamed, and swept me up in this big hug.

Yes it is.

* * *

**So, there's the third and final part, but there will be an epilogue coming out soon as chapter four. I wrote most of it last night, so it should be up soon. Thank you guys so much, anyone, who spent any time at all out of their lives reading this story. It was one of the most fun things I've written in a long time.**

**Becca: This is for your awesome, navy blue Converses that I seriously envy. Am I such a freak for wearing aqua ones?**

**So once again, thank you infinitely for reading and for your feedback, which I love. Epilogue coming soon. Much love!**


	4. The M Word

**Nervous Breakdown**

**summary**: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just _had_ to go and start hyperventilating...'

**timeline**: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

**note**: Here's the epilogue, the last chapter.

* * *

Epilogue

-Three and a half years later-

I still cannot believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm graduating college today. I can't believe I made the top one percent of my graduating class. And I can't believe I get to spend it sitting here, with the man I love beside me. It's not possible for today to get any more perfect - the universe couldn't possible take that much happiness and perfection.

I turn to the handsome man beside me, who's holding my hand, and offer him a smile. He gives my hand a squeeze where our fingers lay intertwined in the space between us where our chairs are pushed together and our dark blue graduation gowns are overlapping. I lean a little closer and give him a quick kiss as we listen to our valedictorian give his speech. No, neither of us graduated ranked first - me and Sasuke actually wound up tied for fourth in our class, so they threw out the third ranking. The top of our class, giving a (boring) speech right now was none other than Nara Shikamaru. Yup, the guy Ino went out with three and a half years ago when me and her got drunk and led to an absolute case of kismet as far as me and Sasuke goes. _That _Shikamaru. We were all surprised and totally unsurprised at the same time when we found out he was our valedictorian. The guy may not seem like it, but he's a freaking genius. He's dating some girl named Temari now I think - she's older; already graduated with an engineering degree in physics or something.

Oh, and let's not forget our salutatorian, Neji. Hyuga Neji. The psycho saxophonist me and Sasuke used to (-cough- still) make fun of. Tenten's old honey. Well, she finally wound up getting Neji's attention in sophomore year. Her brother threw some frat party that he invited her to, and she saw Neji and some girl making out there. So she just stomped over to him and like totally bitch slapped him right across the face, and screamed at him for never noticing her and being an insensitive jerk douche-bag. And after that and this whole big, old scene, Neji actually started grinning and admitted that he actually did all that just to get _her_ attention. It was really cute. They're still together.

As for Hinata, she wound up marrying her long time high school sweetheart, a goofy blonde named Uzumaki Naruto. I always figured the two of them for early marriage - they just scream that kind of Anne Of Green Gables love. They both finished school though, and are graduating today with us. I got to be Hinata's maid of honor at the wedding, and Sasuke was Naruto's best man, so we got to walk down the aisle with the bride and groom, which I thought was cool and totally sweet. I mean, it felt like we were getting married, hell, I loved the feeling, I wanted it to be us getting married some day. Sasuke looks insanely good in a tux after all. Just don't tell Sasuke how I started having wedding stuff go through my head back then. He hasn't said anything about marriage, and I don't want to freak him out with my Jane Austen-ness. Maybe he doesn't want to marry me. All I know is that I love him, and I could see myself as Uchiha Sakura. Once again, do not tell him I think that, he will freak out.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Naruto is Sasuke's best friend, which is why he made him his best man and all. How those two are friends is an absolute mystery to me, vaguer than the Bermuda Triangle, but they are. At the wedding reception, Sasuke got pretty tipsy (I did too, only... later...) and people were talking about weddings and relationships and stuff, and they asked me and Sasuke how we met and got together and all that jazz. And Sasuke told them about the lake back when we were freshmen, only he said that the 'asshole on the bike' was actually Naruto, and they'd actually planned him bumping into me, because Sasuke wanted to ask me out. How absolutely cute is that?

Speaking of devious, blond best friends who enjoy plotting romance with their bffs, Ino. Well, she considers me and Sasuke her absolute matchmaking masterpiece. She broke up with Shikamaru after a few weeks and dropped out of accounting (she even admits she was only taking that course so she could ogle him three times a week) and she joined the theatre instead. Of course, Miss Hollywood Blondie is right at home there and actually wound up with her major in performing arts. She says she's so going to own Broadway. Ino also met this guy (who seriously creeps me out, and _really _pisses off Sasuke) named Sai there, and she's recently been going out with him. Sasuke almost killed him once for actually coming up to me and making a 'certain offer', if you know what I mean. Yeah, it freaked me out too. He still ogles me. Ewwness. And strangely, Ino still likes him. Whatever, it's her life.

"He's staring at your legs," Sasuke grit out through his teeth into my ear. There was only like one person sitting between me and Sai, separating me from him. I sighed and Sasuke glared at him, then grabbed me and very possessively crashed his lips against mine in a long, passionate kiss. Yeah, he still has those jealousy issues. Rock Lee, he threatens, like on a daily basis.

As for me and Sasuke, well, we've been together since the lake. After that first date, we definitely knew we clicked really well. Not long after, I was his steady girlfriend and he was my steady (hunkalicious) boyfriend. I practically moved into his loft, although Ino still uses my apartment, so Uruchi isn't lonely. And about four months ago Sasuke met my dad, the biologist, when he came home once for like two days after being in Brazil for three years, then headed right back to chase butterflies that cure malaria or something. He didn't make it to graduation tonight, but Itachi is taping the ceremony anyway. As for Sasuke's family, we get along as if I'm their long lost blood daughter. His parents are great, and his mom always gets the biggest kick out of every time I remember her birthday better than half her family. As you can imagine, that's not the sort of day I'd forget. His brother, Itachi, is really cool too, and he's like super nice to me, only then Sasuke started having some 'jealousy issues' with him too, so he doesn't talk to me much.

Sasuke himself is the absolute love of my life, as ever. I can talk to him about anything and be myself, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I feel like we were completely and utterly made for each other. You know that manga, _Absolute Boyfriend_? Well Sasuke is like my Night, custom made for me, only even better (even though I totally supported Soushi the whole time). I didn't go to prom alone, he was my first kiss, and I finally had someone to let me wear their high school letter jacket and take me to the band banquet at the end of the year. Really, there's only one sentence that can describe it

"I love you, Sasuke," I whispered once he'd stopped kissing me, and threw my arms around his neck.

"I love you, Sakura," he murmured back, pulling me tighter.

Did we totally forget that this is a college graduation ceremony or what? We're professing our love while wearing caps and gowns, not even noticing that Shikamaru's speech is over and they're starting to call names, and Itachi's probably watching the whole thing from the audience through his binoculars, laughing it up.

Oh, right, I forgot to mention how me and Sasuke are sitting next to each other at an alphabetised graduation ceremony, when I'm a Haruno and he's an Uchiha. We kind of paid Shikamaru, damn wonderful genius, to hack into the computers and make it organised by first name instead of last name. _Sasuke, _Sakura - honestly, we're not in the top five graduating for nothing, people. Only then, you know, Sai. Whatever, that gay-bob is so not ruining my special day! Cha! Oh God, it sounds like I'm talking about marriage again. Enough, the m-word is forbidden, Sakura!

Sasuke smirked as Tenten (notsosubtly) coughed in the row behind us; I flushed and disentangled my arms from his neck, settling for leaving our hands linked like before.

"Hachi Tsuyomi..."

Holy crow, they're already on the h's?! Wasn't Shikamaru doing his speech thingie?

"Hinata Uzumaki..."

Ohemmmgeee! Hinata! I half stood up, bouncing up and down and beaming at the trembling brunette making her way across the stage. That was absolutely nothing, however, on about four rows in front of me, where I could see Neji and Naruto sitting next to each other. They'd both climbed so that they were standing on their chairs, whooping and hollering for Hinata like idiots at a football game, and from the looks of all the flashing, it looks like Naruto managed to smuggle a digital camera in the sleeve of his graduation robe.

"Oh, God," I muttered to myself, rubbing my forehead, as Sasuke shook his head in disbelief.

Instead of embarrassment and irritation though, I was beginning to feel wistful. This was probably the last time I was going to get to see Naruto getting security called on him (that is, unless we all go out for drinks after this), and strangely, I'm going to really miss it. My heart already has that dull sort of ache in it. Not to mention one of my best friends has already officially graduated college. Aw man, this feels just like her wedding when me and her mom started crying.

"Ino Yamanaka..."

Oh man, Ino. My Ino has graduated (and is now dancing with her diploma on stage...) I squeezed Sasuke's hand, giving a fluttery smile and trying to ignore the burning at the back of my throat that was begging to burst into tears. Through the connection of our hands, he must have felt what I was feeling, because he squeezed back.

I watched my best friends graduate and Sasuke watched his. Neji accepted his with composure; Naruto, of course tried to start a mosh pit by jumping off the stage, but Neji was right behind him and grabbed him back. Good thing too; I don't think Shino's great-grandmother could have taken it.

In no time at all, they were calling our row of s's and a couple straggling r names to go line up by the stage. Sasuke kept holding my hand, either sensing my nervous, butterfly filled innards or determined to keep some space between us and Sai till the very end, or maybe both. Sai's name was called, and after a very creepy fake smile, he skipped (literally) on stage. Sasuke sighed deeply and I felt my lips twitch despite myself as I caught _"homosexual" _among what he was muttering under his breath.

"Sakura Haruno..."

So with that left-over smile and a quick peck on the top of my head from Sasuke, I managed to walk across the stage in my fancy shoes, shake hands, graciously accept the roll of paper offered to me without getting a paper cut, and listen to the long-winded list of honors after my name.

I was still on the other end of the stage when I heard the booming announcement of "Sasuke Uchiha", and I quickly whipped around and watched him go through the line, a smirk spread across his features.

He didn't walk fast enough for me I guess, and I'm just exactly the kind of crazy, needy, true-romantic girlfriend that does things like this, but I ran across the remaining yards of glass floor separating us, and glomped him in a hug. I heard the audience 'aw', but what I was really focusing on was the way his warm, strong arms so automatically reached out and caught me, how his untidy, black hair tickled the side of my face, and how I could feel his quiet laughter vibrating in his throat.

Anyway, we got kicked off the stage and stood in front in four or five long lines of the alumni who had gone before us. And then it was all over. Everyone's name was called, the headmaster of the university gave a speech, and we yelled out our class year and threw our hats, same as in high school, only this time, we weren't going to be attending school ever again. It felt kind of funny, thinking of that.

Once we threw our hats, the people in the crowd started coming down into the main area where we were, parents looking for kids and friends wildly finding people to hug. It was really crowded, so Sasuke pulled me over to the big, glass stage, and we sat on the edge.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked me.

"Old," I replied very seriously, but I still laughed.

He laughed too, "Do you have any idea what you want to do with your life now?"

"Well, you know I'm qualified to be a doctor now, silly. I'll find a hospital, a residency, and maybe, after a few years, I can get my own practice. And my dad can supply me with malaria curing butterflies," I joked, twisting at the sash around my shoulders that proclaimed me as being very smart.

"Well, where do I fit into that?" he asked.

"Honestly, I wasn't sure if you _wanted_ to fit into that," I mumbled truthfully.

"Well, duh," he said, rather childishly.

I cracked a grin, "Then you're my hunch-backed assistant who gets to pull all the levers in the lab."

"Wow," he said sarcastically as I laughed at him, but I could totally tell he thought that was funny. Then he said in a more serious tone, "Speaking of your dad."

"What about him?"

"Well, when he came back from Brazil, I asked him something."

"What did you ask?"

"I'll tell you in a minute," he said deviously, pretending to ignore my annoyed expression at being in the dark.

"So what did my dear, old dad say then? Huh, Uchiha?"

"He told me yes."

"Well, that clarifies th-

"I asked him for permission to ask you to marry me."

"... what?" OMG, he said the m-word. I just heard the m-word. Did he just say the m-word?!

"You heard me. I wanted to do it right."

"So you asked my dad's blessing _four months ago_?"

"Actually, I sent him an e-mail asking him to call me, about a year ago, since I didn't know when he'd be coming back, and I was getting impatient. He said his Blackberry broke when it fell out of his pocket while he was climbing a tree."

"_A year?!_ Y-you you, a year!"

"U huh, I've been waiting. So now that only leaves one more person for me to ask." He stood up on the stage and pulled me up with him. He knelt down on the glass, and fished a tiny box out of the sleeve of his robe.

"Sakura Haruno, please, please marry me."

I. Am. In. Shock. I am in shock. IaminshockIaminshockIaminshock.

Can you repeat that?!?!

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.

I'm going to be engaged. Me. Seriously. I'm not going to be an old cat lady after all. Take that, Ino! You owe me fifty bucks! I'm engaged. I'm engaged! Woot!

While this little party is going on in my head, on the outside I'm standing perfectly still, my mouth open, because, yeah, SHOCK. I think it scared him, because he started looking really nervous, like I wasn't going to say yes. He started to stand up, I guess he was considering my silence as a rejection and just wanted to leave. My brain finished its shock slash wedding slash ohemmgeee to the extreme moment, and I could control my body again. I unexpectedly glomped him, and almost caught him off balance.

"Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes..." I sang excitedly in his ear, and I noticed that the crowd of people who had stopped their hugs to watch our little drama had taken my hugging him and the dazed smile on his face as a good sign, and started clapping. But, again, all I care about is the man who's hugging me tightly, rocking us back and forth. He stopped hugging me.

"Yes," he agreed solemnly, and gave me my first kiss as his fiancee. His fiancee.

Okay. Wow.

* * *

**This one is for Arianna, love you eternally, honey, and Matt, whom I love so much it hurts, even if he doesn't know it. He really inspires a lot of my work.**

**Okay, readers, I apologise infinitely with my very heart, mind, body, and soul, for my lack of presence on Fanfiction and the extremely scarce updates. I can't even forgive myself! Again, really sorry. I've just been so busy lately. But I finally got this one completed at least. Excuse the corniness. I'm just that kind o gal.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, the story, and thanks eternally to all who read and reviewed. Much love.**


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